


A Trip To Wonderland.

by Jackcole



Category: Biohazard - Fandom, Lucas Baker - Fandom, Re7 - Fandom, Resident Evil, Resident Evil 7 - Fandom
Genre: Jack gets the shit kicked out of her, Jack with the shovel is old and crusty, Jen busts a cap in Lucas' ass, Jen will get her revenge with Chicken Charlie's., Lucas is acting like a fucking child, Marguerite makes Jack have a mental breakdown where even Lucas' torture couldn't, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-07-08 03:41:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19862923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackcole/pseuds/Jackcole
Summary: Upon Jack and Jen's arrival to Louisiana, they've already made it their goal to hunt down one specific house, knowing it's fake.But.Was it?





	1. A painful introduction.

Both girls held tight clammy hands as they stepped out onto the misty street outside the airport, looking down each way.  
This was their first trip out by plane together.  
And they came here for one specific legend.  
The whole time, Jack had reassured her friend that it was false and they'd just end up feeding gators and what not instead.  
After years of convincing, she finally broke down and agreed.  
So here they stood.  
In Louisiana.  
A place they were completely unfamiliar with.  
Besides Jack, who, had been hearing things about it from one of her close Florida friends and looked at a few maps.  
Which didn't mean she was any better off.  
But.  
She liked to think she was.  
Setting those thoughts aside, turning to her best friend, she saw her with a quickly disappearing fearful face, as it settled into more confusion.  
While they walked out the gate and to the taxis, Jen spoke up to ask.  
"So... Where are we going again?"  
Gently pulling her around, Jack replied calmly.  
"To our hotel, get some food, and head out after a trip to the store to get what we consider needed. Like... A few... Throw away knives."  
She rushed out the last bit, not wanting to freak Jen out.  
"wHAT?"  
Her voice choked out immediately.  
"Well, we should carve our names there or something, y'know? Besides, in case we see any crazies or whatever. We're in the middle of buttfuck nowhere and the cops don't really give a shit what goes on unless it helps quickly meet their quota, so if the crazy rednecks here get to carry shotguns, I get to at least carry a pocket knife. I'm not letting Florida Man get me today."  
A smile crept its way up into her cheeks, though Jen seemed far less impressed, shaking her head and going to speak before a cab driver called out.  
"Y'all need a cab?"  
Deciding to talk more on it later, Jack agreed and made polite conversation, turning slowly towards economic status with the state along with some further chat about gators, resulting in her occasionally getting eyed by the guy as he was clearly suspicious of her intent with them.  
After all was said and done, they safely reached their hotel, paid him and headed to do their business.  
It wasn't until the next day when they were outside in the humid weather, eating chicken wings did the subject return.  
"So... We're going tonight. I wanna see what's there."  
Jack spoke up, staring off the deck they were sitting on down towards the marshy waters, thinking that if the deck were to crumble away, that there may be some lurking gators to briskly finish their wings for them.  
Jen replied after swallowing down her more spicy wings and lightly wiping away any residue.  
"Oh my- PUTA- PUTO- WE CAN'T! We'll get killed! We should just stay away and enjoy the trip."  
Refraining from eating more wings until Jack inevitably spoke up again.  
Taking a moment to neutralize the tinge of anger she'd previously felt, she breathed out.  
"Then what are we here for? To play hopscotch with the snakes? To reenact the scene from The Lion King two? C'mon, you don't seriously believe all the ghost stories, do you?"  
Jen shook her head.  
"You're going to get yourself killed! It's not about ghosts, what if we run into-... You know, 'the family'?"  
Jack paused, stiffening a little before grinning widely like some sort of psycho.  
"If we meet them, I'm taking you know who with us and we're leaving."  
Immediately, as if on instinct, Jen began to yell about how stupid she was and how that wouldn't happen in a million years.  
On the other hand, Jack bursted out laughing but blushed with embarrassment as their waiter returned, causing Jen to calm mostly, before asking if that place was really like the stories and if they'd ever heard of "the family" and after reassurance from the waiter, they headed back out.  
Of course, after paying their tab because what monster walks out like that.  
Within the soupy, hot afternoon, they began their shopping.  
There was a weapon store, and thanks to being an adult, they actually could legally acquire some this time.  
Scoping out the knives and practically orgasming at the sight of a beautiful dark serrated blade with a comfy grip handle, Jack couldn't resist.  
It looked like a knife a crocodile hunter would use.  
Scratch that, more like one you'd use to hunt a cryptid.  
_Perfect_  
She thought as she bought it, along with three little pocket knives for herself and two for Jen.  
Never could be too safe, after all.  
If there were any spooks to be had, she was prepared.  
The multiples were for, obviously, different hiding spots.  
One of a belt loop she had that her shirt hung over to hide it, one in her hoody pocket, one in her shirt hoody pocket.  
That's right.  
She had.  
A shirt cross bred with a hoody.  
Once they had been satisfied with their spending, they scooped up their stuff, and left.  
Returning back to their room to truly gear up, Jack scoffed at just how paranoid they'd been.  
Thinking about it, how on earth were they supposed to take these home with them?  
Several knives and whatnot wouldn't be allowed on a plane in a million years.  
Oh well, she supposed it was worth it.  
As the two exited their room, looking a bit sketchier than usual.  
The drive was a long one, surprisingly.  
On Google maps, it said the drive would be an hour.  
Turns out, Google maps was a lying whore.  
It took them damn near three hours to get there.  
Which concerned them to no end, but considering just how awfully wrong the service could often times be, they decided to just flow with it.  
Either way, it didn't matter.  
At least they'd have a nice drive and talk.  
Though, they soon drove down a far too long dirt road through what looked to be a far spaced neighborhood.  
Most were farms, so it made sense, but it still creeped them out.  
Jack felt more at home than anything though.  
But they eventually pulled up to the last house before the land became too sparse and departed into the marsh.  
Looking at the place, Jack's eyes went wide as her jaw tightened far too hard for just seeing something.  
Before them, stood an old manor.  
But not just any manor, oh no, the Baker manor.  
Jen screamed almost immediately.  
The fear was evident in her as she took a hand and raised it up to her mouth, burying her face in it for a moment.  
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!-"  
Her words quickly descended into a mix of Bengali and Spanish curses as she flailed around in her seat.  
Jack couldn't blame her.  
But... Dulvey wasn't real- it isn't real, there's no way it could be... Well, they based the house off another one, right? That's probably this one, so it should be fine- but- the blood stained signs are there- everything's too perfect it-  
Her thoughts raced before she noticed a man's leg lift as he walked through the trees along the infamous path.  
She knew exactly whose leg that was.  
Feeling watched, she turned to Jen.  
"Get us the fuck out of here."  
Her voice grew deep with concern, this was so obviously not ok.  
As much as she may like Lucas, as much as she loved the game, and as much as the atmosphere called her name, Jack had asthma and there was no way in hell she was stepping in there.  
It was honestly surprising that just looking at it didn't give her an immediate asthma attack.  
That and despite her adoration for the game and specific characters, that didn't mean she wanted to be one of their victims.  
Not wasting any time, Jen tried pulling back out, her tires spun in the mud though.  
Fucking rental cars, of course, bastards-  
Her thoughts edged, holding deep contempt for the blasted thing.  
The car her and Jack had would never let them down like this.  
Now stuck, Jack spoke up.  
"Fuck this, I'm calling a repair guy or something I don't care."  
Jen had nothing to offer other than narrowing her eyes at the house and a nod.  
Making sure the doors were locked, Jack followed through and called up a towing company.  
There was signal, which didn't surprise her as she already knew what was going on.  
They answered but...  
Nobody spoke.  
There was no sound on the other end.  
"...Hello?"  
Her voice questioned.  
At this point, somebody would've said something, anything, that or there'd be obnoxious elevator music.  
Nothing.  
Getting a paranoid thought that maybe the call had been answered somehow by someone else, she growled into the phone.  
"I hope you know- you're a dick. I'm trying to heed the signs warnings here, I haven't even stepped into your house and you're already trapping us here? What's even the point of those fucking signs then? What's the matter with you? So unsure of yourself you simply have to ensure they can't get away? Not even a chance? That's low, and you're boring."  
She seethed.  
Jen looked absolutely perplexed, but caught on and was about to join before pissed off Jack shot her a look.  
Giving an angry, but agreeing look, Jen continued trying to get them out.  
The look of anger didn't last though, as in the static back ground, a poor quality, very bit squished chuckle was audible.  
He couldn't hold it back.  
Lucas.  
Jack's mind flashed, a scorching fear and anger took hold, as she audibly made a growl through the phone.  
"Fuck. You."  
She tried to calm herself, but found no such luck.  
He finished his laugh with a breath.  
Listening intently for anything he had to say, Jack was surprised to hear the sudden "This call has been interrupted." Message play.  
Putting the phone back down into her pocket, she stared back at the house.  
"We need out of here. Let's think. We aren't going in that house for the life of us, we can't get the car out, there's no service, the nearest house is probably over thirty miles away, it'd take us days to get out of here on foot, and I think they have a car."  
Jack finished.  
Looking towards Jen, her face had crumbled from anger down into a look of pure fear and sorrow.  
"What are we gonna do?"  
A whimper escaped her lips.  
"Fucked if I know, but we're leaving this hell hole alive."  
Looking out the side door as mosquitos pelted themselves against it, she flinched, remembering how awful it'd be to go in that place.  
The game made it gross enough, so going in for real was something she never thought she'd have to consider.  
"Even if we come out with Zika or crabs. Even if you have to suck Lucas' dick, we're getting out."  
Perking up at the last sentence, she berated her friend again.  
"EW NO I'D RATHER DIE!"  
Her hoarse voice screeched.  
Smiling softly, Jack felt a little better.  
"AND NEITHER ARE YOU, I'LL MAKE SURE OF IT!"  
Jack turned a little red but just kept smiling like an idiot, feeling as if Lucas could hear her and the context, making the embarrassment ten times worse.  
"Now let's get out of here!"  
Jen exclaimed, throwing her door open, grabbing a lighter before starting down the dirt path back towards town.  
Shrugging and deciding there was no better way, Jack followed after her, feeling the swarm of mosquitos begin to descend upon them.  
Biting at her lips, Jack looked back so many times it got disorienting, as she began to poke at Jen, ultimately opting to grab her and quietly tell her to "stay prepared."  
Just then, the crunching of someone walking on the path began.  
Straightening her back reflexively, Jack snapped her head around to see a hooded figure approaching.  
"Fuck!"  
She barked through a breath, grabbing Jen tightly as she began to sprint, nearly falling over from Jen not moving in time, before both of them began to run.  
Feeling as if though this was a trap, thanks to her paranoia, Jack was thinking of alternatives.  
Maybe she could climb a tree with Jen once they got away? And they could hide there- yeah, that was a good idea, right? Not like there was anything better to do.  
Just as she finished the thought however, a man, a taller, more filled out man, walked out of the trees, cracking his neck and shoulders with one shovel held firmly in one of his hands.  
Though his features were practically impossible to make out, thanks to the quickly setting sun, just by his silhouette, she knew.  
A fellow Jack.  
Deciding Lucas was the weaker one, she skidded to a stop, unable to turn around either.  
It was a hard decision.  
Running up meant surely death or unconsciousness, which, would be far worse.  
Pulling her large serrated dark blade from its spot, she prepared for what she knew was to happen.  
A hand slapped itself down on her shoulder, yanking her back, though, she spun around, getting her face planted firmly into the neck/collar bone of an overly greasy, smelly man.  
She felt his muscles move as he went to smile, a soft vibration coming as he spoke.  
"Now where do y'all think you're going?"  
The familiar voice that usually sent her into frenzied noises of affection now made her innards go cold and dead, if not hot with fear and anger at the same time.  
Pulling back to free her face from being covered in gross swamp man body grease, he only dug his boney fingers deeper into her shoulder, making her temporarily screech and strain.  
A rotating clack could be heard and felt, the glee in his eyes seemed to only brighten further.  
"AWAY FROM YOU!"  
A familiar voice screamed from his side as Jack went and prepared herself to kick him back, locking up again as a loud blast echoed through the air.  
A bullet had gone from the base of his head all the way through his jaw, making him temporarily stop.  
A shocked look blazed behind his cold eyes, before turning to a menacing grin.  
Or.  
At least, what was supposed to be a menacing grin.  
Being revolted, Jack pushed, shoved and pried herself out of his grasp all while her ears rung with the deafening blast.  
Falling back, stumbling around, Jack fell down to one knee, making a loud frustrated yell to try and hear anything but the awful sound.  
Squeezing her eyes shut tightly, a moment passed, Lucas was holding his jaw still, though now he was looking a lot worse than before, thanks to Jen's decision that a gun shot simply wasn't enough.  
Bruising had clearly already begun.  
But paying no mind to that, her eyes shifted to behind Jen, suddenly, her ears refocused long enough to hear a scream rip through the dense air along with Jack's heartbeat while Jack, as in the Baker, grabbed her best friend by the back of her neck, squeezing hard enough that it looked as if his hand could sink way down to the bone.  
Feeling it was her turn now, Jack, as in the Jackass, got to her feet, patting her ears to check for blood while she clutched the blade firmly, thrusting herself forward to cut Jen free.  
Doing just that, her knife penetrated the skin and muscle of the more infected Jack's wrist, hitting bone with it's point with such force, it was amazing there wasn't a fracture.  
Looking pissed while clenching his teeth, the old man pulled his hand back.  
"You've got some nerve coming to my house and doing that to me."  
His accent slurred out.  
Now feeling extremely weak, Jen was tossed down harshly to the ground as he refocused his attention.  
Now realizing she was his prime target, Jack, the one whose best friend now laid in numb agony on the ground, steadied herself, holding the knife just about as tightly as she could, though now her palm was coated in sweat and blood.  
Laughing slowly through gritted teeth, the older man in his faded yellow shirt, went to grab her wrist, causing her to force herself back, not wanting to end up with a seriously mangled wrist.  
Only now, Lucas rushed her from behind just as older crustier Jack was about to make a move.  
Yelling as she was sent tumbling to the ground, gross swamp man blood pouring into her hair like gel, she squirmed and began to search for any body part to bite, claw, squeeze, or anything.  
Finding a piece of loose hoody to grab, she went all for it, firmly holding it before tugging it down towards her, occasionally digging her fingers, primarily nails, down into his forearm.  
Jumbled words dropped out from his disgustingly deformed mouth/jaw, along with more gore and spit, grossing her out to the highest degree as she thought nasty unclean swamp cannibal man drool was leaking down quickly and efficiently into her hair.  
Blood was fine.  
Drool was not.  
His hands held a tight grip on the back of her neck, forcing her throat into the ground in one of the most uncomfortable positions in the world.  
Hacking and growling, she felt crusty dusty old Jack's presence become relevant again.  
As his boot pressed down on her head,  
Knowing he'd more than likely pop her head like a balloon, or at least make her nose look like Lucas' she yelled out.  
Again, Jen managed to help, yelling out every kind of word imaginable, though most incomprehensible since her body still felt rather numb.  
"Let go of my fucking FRIEND!"  
She screamed, stabbing crusty dusty musty man Jack right in the ankle, making it through his shoe and all.  
Guess those workouts really did come to fruition.  
Normal human not infected Jack watched as he took his disgusting old boot off her head then turn to kick Jen up underneath the armpit, flipping her onto her back.  
"Why you brat, what do you think you're doing?"  
He grumbled in a deeper, quieter tone.  
The warmth of the swamp was replaced briefly by the cold of her sweat as asthmatic Jack watched him put his foot on her chest, effectively pinning her.  
Finally, Lucas slipped up and her nails cut his wrist open, making him wrench himself back and hold his wrist, swearing as he watched it leak.  
She didn't wait, and promptly maneuvered him right off, tossing him appropriately to the ground again, after her ankle had accidentally grazed his less than savory spot in her crazed freedom frenzy.  
"That slippery little bitch!"  
He barked, squeezing his eyes shut as he held the delicate spot.  
Not caring, now in comparison friendlier Jack punched the old broom right in the knee, causing his leg to...  
Do nothing.  
Her plan for reflexes to kick in failed.  
His head swiveled to glare at her.  
"God dammit boy I thought I told you to keep that one down!"  
His eyes briefly flicked to Lucas, meanwhile, she searched frantically for her bigger knife, not wanting to reveal that she had more than one knife.  
It was too close to the tree line though, so instead, she pulled her pocket knife and lodged it perfectly into his knee joints.  
A loud howl of laughter/pain ringed out as female not old Jack shoved the bastard over with as much force as she could muster, from her sitting position.  
Grabbing Jen quickly, she launched over and grabbed her knife, taking a second to decide whether or not she should continue.  
Deciding against it, she slung Jen up over her shoulder just about as awkwardly as possible, before making an even more awkward hobble to get away.  
Returning the pocket knife back where it belonged, in her hoody, she also returned the larger knife back.  
It was a known fact.  
This was inevitable.  
With Jen not walking, and Jack having to try and stay standing, it was a train wreck destined to go down in flames.  
The guys were stronger, faster, and they would get them regardless.  
Coming here was a mistake they would pay for.  
Hugging her friend with one arm closely holding around her hips/lower back, Jack sighed as she felt a hand land itself on her shoulder, giving a squeezing hold of knowing, the tips hooking around her pronounced collar bone.  
Deciding she'd go out fighting, she pulled her large dark blade and tried to gently shrug Jen off, spinning herself around with a force of pure rage, only to be struck extremely hard across the face, her sharp teeth scraping the inside of her mouth, making the taste of iron pollute the entirety of her previously chocolate tasting saliva.  
Looking up, she saw something that was unexpected, Lucas had haphazardly pushed his way past his father to deliver that blow.  
With a new found strength of rage coursing through her bones and veins, she slipped the knife from one end to another, thanks to the serrated blade, the fabric caught and tore from the top of his left peck down near the edge of his stomach.  
Walmart could never.  
She noted, looking at his total shock and anger, noticing his beloved hoody was completely trashed.  
Jack just smiled at him, blood seeped between her teeth and numbly dribbled down her chin.  
Seeing a few buds of rosey blood begin to poke itself between a few cracks within his skin as well.  
A crazed laugh could no longer be contained as Jack began to laugh uncontrollably, small tears began to sting her cheeks and make her insides ache with more emotion than she could feel.  
Anger surged again, leading her to stab him.  
Well.  
Halfway stab him, as she'd regained some control, not calming herself enough to control the deep laughter bubbling up as a cope for how awful she felt.  
Finally, old man Jack came up and gave her a harsh punch to the back of her head, making her jar forward and go numb.  
Feeling a cold sea of static overwhelm her sensitive mind, the last thing she saw was Lucas' shoes.  
Just perfect, the last thing she'd see is a stupid pair of trashy uggs. Of course.  
That was the last thing she could remember thinking as well.


	2. A crackhead and an upset mother.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Lucas have a lengthy chat on day two of life in wonderland.  
> Does Jack care?   
> Does anything Lucas say ever matter?  
> Figure out next time, in the next chapter of "Writer Jack has vacation stress so she writes more about herself and a fictional drug addict having a rivalry"!

Waking up was painful.  
Jack's head was burning hot as her dreary eyes tried their best to focus.  
A noise slowly crept up in her returning senses, soft banging of metal.  
Like running your hands over metal bars.  
Slowly growing capable of more and more, she lifted her head to look up, accidentally bringing it up too far as she groaned and took a breath, stretching out her legs all the way before flicking her ankle to the side, it let out a final loud crack.  
Yawning and stretching the rest of her heavy body, she flopped onto the filthy floor after, feeling too numb to stand, though she forced herself up onto her knees, making more gruff grunts, yawns and breaths.  
Finally following the noise, she looked over to figure out, she was in a cell.  
A prison cell?  
She tried to remember where this was in the house, narrowing her eyes to attempt remembering, only to notice the pale face of non other, but Lucas goddamn Baker.  
Immediately, Jack jolted and made an audible "yEE-" noise as she pulled back, growling.  
"Oh you ass!"  
Her head buzzed from the sudden intense anger and quick movement.  
Groaning again as she panted to reclaim her mind to whatever extent she could, Lucas said in a rather giddy voice.  
"I wouldn't recommend movin' too much. Might hurt for a while. I mean, I would offer you some ice if you hadn't tore my favorite hoody."  
Predictably, his voice shifted towards a more annoyed tone.  
"But, oh well. Guess it's all over with now."  
Jack took a sigh, having needed to soothe her breathing.  
"Shut the hell up. Mind telling me why the hell you're here? Surely you, Lucas Baker, have so much more important things to do than sit here and watch girls sleep."  
Lucas had his same stupid grin as he raise his brows.  
"Well, ain't it flattering, you already know my name! Tell me, you ain't been peekin' in my windows have you?  
An, if you really want me to get ole' Moldy in here, I sure can."  
Growling lowly, she didn't answer for a moment, hearing nothing from him, enough for her to briefly be concerned, thinking he may have retreated back to actually get a molded.  
"You aren't exactly a celebrity, but I heard about your family's disappearance and whatnot.  
A few things.  
You know."  
Jack looked around in the dark behind him, before taking in his image.  
Is- is he wearing the same hoody she destroyed earlier? What- does the damn clothing regenerate with them?  
"And... I'm fine without ever meeting one of those assholes.  
Their noises get real annoying, you know."  
Finishing that up to lessen his satisfaction, Jack stared off, deciding to look around her room as well, figuring he'd talk to her a bit more.  
Shrugging as a response, Lucas turned his head as well, his face fell flat for a second before a little chuckle danced its way out of his throat, slowly, coming out more gruff than his usual laugh.  
"What exact 'few things' do you know?"  
He scoffed, staring down the thin hallway.  
Jack stood, oddly feeling compelled to walk towards him, maybe to see if this was all a dream.  
"There's a lot of things I'd love to spill to you, but considering how many possibly universe ruining things it could do, I'll stay quiet on that."  
She murmured softly, before shuffling her way over, being quiet and careful, each step deliberate and expected, though she was still shaky and nearly falling over on more than a few occasions, he was still staring off when her hand shakily reached out and grabbed the bars, coincidentally right where his hand grabbed as he turned back.  
A surprised shriek pushed its way from her throat as she tried to forcefully pull her hand back, retreating from his touch.  
At first, his face dropped and he looked completely surprised, but as she began to flail and pull, he smirked that stupid ass shit eating grin and let her reclaim her hand.  
"What? My touch poisonous or somethin'?"  
Responding nearly over the top of him, she yelled.  
"Yes it is!"  
As she wiped her hand all over the wall, grating her skin into it as she squirmed.  
He giggled with no restraint.  
"C'mon now, I ain't that bad."  
Jack gave him a pure look of disgust that screamed 'to fuck you aren't.'  
"Yeah Mr. I-Burn-Innocents-Alive, I guess you aren't so bad after all."  
She retorted, looking back at her hand again with a grimace before patting it off and resuming their talk, now stalking the front of the cell like a caged zoo animal.  
Lucas gave her a quirked look.  
"An how do you know that?"  
He questioned, to which Jack gave him a pissed look and shook her head.  
"Look, are you gonna throw me in the incinerators or what, pal? Cause our chat has been lovely, but pointless."  
For a moment, she stilled, looking at him through her dizzy gaze, before returning to her pacing again.  
"Oh come on, that ain't no fun. And you said I'm boring."  
He paused and seemed to be thinking.  
"I'm still tryna think of what I'll be doing with y'all. If, I can get my hands on you."  
He looked back at her, which she had been staring at him unknowingly, immediately looking away as she noticed.  
"That... Sounds less than pleasant. But that doesn't exactly explain why you're here."  
Her voice muttered.  
"Alright look, Mia's off having a 'sit down' with mama right now, and dads off dealing with a few other trespassers, that an... Ole moldy isn't lookin' too good right now, so I'm stuck watching y'all, alright? Besides, it's hot as hell up there."  
Accepting this excuse, she nodded.  
"So I could stab you right now and nobody would be around to help you?"  
She grinned.  
"Good luck."  
He snort-scoffed.  
"Me an' dad gave ya a pat down while you were out, same goes for your friend there too."  
Referencing Jen, she looked back to see her passed out, leaned up against the back wall.  
"Oh fantastic. But you think that'll stop me, you can consider yourself fucked. I'll stab you with a blade of grass if I get the chance. I make things work."  
Jack smiled at her captor, internally screaming as she realized what hell pit she was now locked in, swallowing down the immense fear and anguish, she played it cool.  
Lucas wasn't the worst thing here, and considering she was in a cage, and it seemed it would stay that way for a while, so she hoped at least, there would be minimal torture.   
Though it was obvious that sleeping here would be impossible, unless you're fine with sleeping in a million other people's piss and blood, along with black mold and other such things.  
"Think we'll play cards some time?"  
Jack mumbled subconsciously, thinking how she'd probably lose half her fingers and ultimately win, but have barely anything worth living for, since functioning without fingers was something she wasn't willing to adapt to.  
The thought made her internally flinch, though Lucas seemed amused by the question.  
"Oh and you know about my card games! You're really gonna have to tell me how much you know sometime. But maybe. Like I said, if I get my hands on you, we'll see where it goes."  
He giggled, seeming pleased with the thought, almost off in his own little world.  
Meanwhile, Jack thought, weighing the situation and her options, all while trying not to crush her reality and world view since all of this was impossible.  
"Not that I'm exactly... Enthusiastic about the idea but..."  
Jack hesitated and noticeably grimaced for a second, swallowing it back down.  
"Can't you just decide you're gonna take us or something? You're part of the family too, I mean, you're basically playing the bottom bitch role. I've never seen someone be such a bottom bitch before, it's honestly impressive."  
She managed to say with a straight face, smiling just about as wide as possible within her head.  
Lucas gave her a look mixed between anger and annoyance.  
"No, I can't. You should know why, since you know so much."  
He said in a mocking tone, before straightening up and resuming.  
"But I'll have you know, I been talkin' to dad, and it's lookin' like you may becoming with me."  
Staring into his eyes, Jack grumbled.  
"Greeeaaaat."  
She extended the word, noticeably being unimpressed.  
"I'm so excited to go be a lab rat and have you creepily watch us on a million screens. Just perrrfeeeect."  
Lucas grinned at her for a while longer, before turning his head to state off into the darkness again.  
He seemed fixated on something, pushing himself back and looking over into the dark before his back straightened normally again from him twisting over to look, his pupils flicked towards her for a moment before he sighed and took another breath, seemingly to say something before he stuttered out.  
"Now y'all are comfortable, I think I'm gonna have- I'm gonna go, I'll see you later though."  
He paid steady attention to her for a moment, grinning before he walked off into the dark.  
"Oh you cock!-"  
She'd yelled before he disappeared, yelling all sorts of things before going to the back wall, and sliding down next to Jen, gently taking her limp arm, and extending it over in front of her, seeing if everything was alright.  
Good thing, it was.  
So, Jack took her arm, wrapped it over her shoulders, and sighed, leaning against her unconscious friend.  
"We'll get the fuck out of here."  
Jack whispered in hot breath as she closed her eyes and pressed her face into Jen's bangs.  
"...Alive."  
She bit at her lips.  
"And I'm taking Lucas with us, seriously, just so I can shove his own wrench up his ass."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yesterday I started this up on my second flight of the day, and when I got here, but finished it in my hotel after a sleep. That's why it may have seemingly changed style at the end.  
> You can thank sleep for that.  
> But pretty much, Jack and Lucas have a lot to discuss and this chapter is a bit of filler/set up, nothing too important happens here.  
> But next time I swear-


	3. Jen awakens ready to crack the Chancla.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waking up, Jack somehow regains cognitive ability and helps her friend to her feet, finally deciding she should check herself instead of her pockets.  
> The results will amaze you.

A while after having her chat with Lucas, Jack had officially swept over the entire room, only finding more and more wrong with the accursed place.  
Black mold between the cracks of their shitty little cell, specifically where the floor and wall met, on the backs of some of the bars.  
At times like these, Jack was so thankful the moment she was legally able, she got her shots.  
While holding her chin and pushing her lip up to aid in further skimming the poor soft flesh, Jen awoke, asking in a raspy tone.  
"Where are we?..."  
Jack immediately stood straight and turned to face her friend, swinging uncomfortably and stumbling a little though she tried being smooth.  
"Welcome to hell."  
She said in a far oo cherry voice.  
Every time there was a bad situation, she liked to say that.  
Now was no different.  
Jen looked around, narrowing her eyes.  
Knowing she'd figure it out in a second, Jack began to actually explain, deflating from her raised stance as she meandered over.  
"They caught us, Jen. We're in their basement somewhere. The part of the house I never could remember, where they keep Mia."  
Jen's pupils exploded as did she as she began to yell.  
"OH IRENE, WHAT?!? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THOSE CRUSTY DUSTIES GOT US?!"  
Jack scoff laughed, hurting her throat as she tried to contain it.  
"Yeah. And they gave us a goddamn pat down while we were out, too. Now we're empty."  
After hearing this, Jen pulled back until her head hit the wall, face scrunched in a clear cringe.  
"WHAT IF THYY MOLESTED US?! BROOOO. THAT'S SO FUCKING CREEEEPYYYYYY!"  
Jack's face tinged a slight red with both embarrassment her friend thought they might have been touched like that, and also because she felt Lucas was watching, hearing this.  
Shaking her head with a growing grin born out of her sheer embarrassment, Jack spoke back up.  
"Nooo... I don't think they want anything like that, at least, while we're still alive. But, we should look to get out of here. No get off that ground before the mold latches itself to your ass."  
Making a face of disgust, Jen shoved herself up just about as hard as she could, nearly falling again, though Jack strode over in a seconds notice, for the first time since she woke up not making any fuck ups, grabbed Jen's arm and helped her up.  
"Do take it easy though, we're more than likely infected now and besides that, we got slam dunked out there. You shouldn't push yourself too hard, especially if we're getting out of here."  
Speaking some reason, Jen gave a sickly nod, looking off into the dark beyond where Lucas previously stood, not knowing of anything that Jack had been doing while she was out.  
"How long have we been here?"  
Her voice was soft, seemingly drained.  
Lusting for more interaction with another being, Jack stuttered immediately, trying to think.  
"I wouldn't say for more than a day... They invite people to dinner usually if they stay over night... And we couldn't have been out for that long, right? So... Same day? A few hours? Ehm... Maybe a day? Lemme check my phone."  
Jack patted at her hoody pocket, surprisingly finding it there.  
Her fingers pushed it up to the edge of her pocket before taking it into her palm and tapping the little button to check.  
"Uhhh... One fourty two AM Wednesday. Same day, just late."  
She sighed softly, thanking whatever was the reason her phone hadn't been confiscated as well.  
"...We're getting the fuck out of here."  
Jen's voice grew shaky, clearly upset and feeling trapped.  
"You're damn right we are."  
Jack scoffed, looking towards her feet as she shuffled about, thinking over everything she already knew.  
_If her phone wasn't confiscated, then, could they have missed anything else?_  
Upon thinking this, Jack's eyes swept the cell for a camera, seeing absolutely nothing, she searched for a moment, getting Jen's attention, though before anything else was said, Jack had began searching her body.  
Sure enough, the rough shitty plastic/wood meshed handle of one of the pocket knives grazed her finger nails, nearly bending it back as she had been rather careless with her movements.  
Making a noise of pure relief and excitement, she wiggled it out somewhat, questioning if she should use it now.  
Lucas wasn't around, to her knowledge, Jack was apparently busy enough to send Lucas over to watch her, Marguerite was occupied, and Jack now discovered she had a knife.  
_What a grand day._  
She thought, looking around some more.  
It was perfect timing.  
There was no time to formulate a proper plan.  
If she knew anything about Lucas, it's that, if you hesitate, he smells that shit and pops right up with that disgusting greasy smile, heaving through his stupid boney flat chest like the stick bug of a man he is.  
Resuming what she was doing, Jack flipped out the blade and calmed her nerves by doing a cool little knife trick, gripping it in all the spaces she wanted before turning back to the task at hand.  
"Let's get going then."  
Giving the door a small kick with her leg to test it and make sure she wasn't dulling her blade for nothing, she sighed and walked over to the hinges.  
"What at eyou doing? Aren't you gonna pick the lock or something?"  
Jen asked, genuinely puzzled as she walked over and tugged at the bars, obviously doing nothing to them.  
With a small smile spreading across her face, Jack answered.  
"The blade is too big. Besides, that's not how that works, and if I can avoid a situation where my blade could get lodged in the keyhole, trapping us here forever, I will."  
She said, clearing dirt and mold that had settled into the crossed lines of the screw holding the door firmly in place.  
Flicking her knife several times, some of those instances happening far too close to her face, she finally relieved the door of one screw.  
"If I were you, I'd move."  
She said, eyes momentarily glancing at Jen, who was standing with her hand clasped over one of the bars, seeming in a daze.  
"Huh? Oh- alright... So... What's the plan?"  
Feeling as if Lucas could be listening right now, Jack shot Jen a glare of momentary anger for putting her in the spot where she had to answer.  
"I'm keeping that, a secret."  
She said while looking at the corner of the room.  
There was no camera visible, but she wanted her friend to get the point.  
Still not getting it, she continued to ask questions, only earning a growl at one point from Jack, before she went and sat down at the back end of the room again.  
After a few more painful minutes, the last screw released, and the door began to fall outwards, thanks to a small push by Jack.  
She didn't even bother trying to stop the awful sound of the metal colliding with the wall opposite of the cell.  
Making a gesture to Jen with her shoulder and head, Jack took a indecisive moment to think of which way to go.  
_In the game, Ethan went down that way, so there should be a way out, right?_  
Now she was wishing she'd spent less time fawning over a stupid fictional murderer and paid more attention to his house's architecture.  
Stepping out to the right of them, she looked back and helped Jen make it out as well, walking hand in hand again like how they did coming here, to this nightmare.  
Twaddling along just fine down the cooridor, Jack finally felt the urgency of the situation hit her.  
They needed out, and fast.  
It was very possible they let her keep that knife just so they could toy with her.  
This could all be a part of a game.  
Hell, Lucas even showed up, which was heavy indication some sort of game was afoot.  
As they wandered their way down the hall, Jack's ears paid heavy attention to every little sound, making her miss some things as she tripped over her own feet paying more attention to water pipe groaned that time within the chorus of the old house's underside.  
Eventually, somehow, they proceeded out of the house.  
It was...  
Confusing.  
To say the least, and a few times Jack got deadass lost.  
But eventually, she found a hole in the ceiling leading up, and so, her, clearly, very tall, absolutely tall, the ceiling was just high, ass jumped a number of times trying to reach anything to pull herself up, when she eventually settled for stacking anything and everything haphazardly to climb up, and then pull Jen up too.  
Now standing in a room she barely remembered, they paused.  
"Ok so, the front door should be around here, just watch your step, and don't make any noise, make as little as you possibly can."  
Jack reminded, before swinging their hands slightly while reaching said door.  
It was a pretty short walk.  
The hole was stuffed away in a little pitch black closet.  
Seeing the warm night sky melted Jack's worries, except for the primal one that she had as she tilted her head up to look, fearing a sudden prescience around her throat.  
Though that never came, as she brought Jen out onto the porch with her, taking in the slight breeze and beautiful sight of the sky above.  
It looked so clear.  
Jack's heart ached as she imagined childhood here.  
The days spent as a pudgy little child in a stupid short sleeved pink shirt with a flower on it while wearing a sun hat, hanging out with your dad whose having a beer sitting on his tractor in the summer heat.  
_Fucking redneck._  
She thought as she suppressed the gripping sense, throwing away all the pieces of the past drifting through her head.  
For a moment, her senses got so fucked up, she thought she'd smelled the spice of Cajun food hanging in the air, almost hearing the family joke and talk amongst themselves at the long since abandoned table.  
Like a normal family.  
Finally, as all of it cleared up, she squeezed Jen's hand and shut her eyes tightly, walking down off the porch and into the mud as she tried not to grieve for the family who used to fill this space, and suppressing all the thoughts of what would've been.  
Opening her eyes again, they walked over to the gate.  
"There's the car..."  
Jen said in an exasperated tone, sounding surprised it was still there.  
Jack nodded in acknowledgment and remembered where she was now.  
They needed to get back home to Texas, and forget all about this stupid video game fantasy.  
Searching herself all over, Jen couldn't find her keys.  
In the sinking, saddened atmosphere, Jen teared up.  
Which, was rare, she would usually flare with life and anger, but, tonight was different.  
They were beaten in so many ways.  
Bodies aching, minds barely keeping themselves stable, drifting between reality and whatever fantasy was now.  
They may have played it off well enough, but that was because they just let it numbly bounce off of them.  
Now out in the clear moonlight, alone with no one to save them in some sort of alternate universe, emotionally shaken to the point of tears, it sunk in.  
Everything about this was wrong.  
This world rejected them.  
And there was nowhere to run.  
Going home, even if they could make it, would surely doom the rest of civilization.  
If Jack's theory was correct, going home was the worst idea possible.  
If they really were infected, and they brought home something so advanced with no means of curing it, they were fucked.  
And so was the rest of the world.  
The infection would be horrific.  
Maybe if they got out of here, they could call S.T.A.R.S though? Since they're still in Louisiana, and that's where things started getting weird.  
Neither of them knew.  
But, regardless, they would escape somehow.  
Continuing forward, Jack noticed a figure to the corner of her eye, also, the wretched stench of...  
_Cigarettes?_  
Immediately thinking of Lucas, Jack ran towards the iron gate and practically flung her best friend into it.  
"Climb."  
Was all she could growl out, before a woman somewhere cleared her throat.  
"Where are y'all going to?"  
_Zoe._  
Even her brain stuttered on that.  
"Out of here if we can, we need to make it back-"  
Jack stopped a short she watched Zoe flick the cigarette, Jack's sensitive lungs clenched tightly as her nose burned.  
"You should know better. Ain't no way you're getting out of here without some help."  
Jack's eyes narrowed.  
"Ok, you might be right, but what other option is there? I can't run this rat race, Zoe, I can't even shoot a gun, how am I supposed to play your family's round about games? If I can get out of here, far enough where all my calls aren't immediately connected to Lucas, I'll call S.T.A.R.S for you or whatever, but I can not play these games, I'm physically incapable."  
Taking a moment to take another drag, she made a small motion.  
"S.T.A.R.S? Do you even know their number? Come on, I'm not stupid. And I don't think y'all are neither, so I think we can come to an agreement. You help me, I'll help you out of this mess alive, got it?"  
Shaking her head in frustration, she spoke up.  
"Didn't you hear me? I can't, what do you want? Me to go out there and start stabbing with a goddamn butter knife at creatures big enough to vore half my body in one bite? Look, I'll do what I can cause, I can see what you mean but, hear me out too, I dont know what exactly to do for you here."  
Giving a small nod, Zoe narrowed her gaze as she continued her little frantic smoking habit.  
"Your friend there knows how to work a gun. Leave it to her. I've got some ammo for your needs, but you're gonna have to get your gun back."  
Thinking for a moment, Jack had to agree.  
Walking out there definitely didn't seem to stop them last time.  
So with no other real options, the life drained from Jack's eyes as she nodded back slowly.  
"Fine. But she only knows how to use pistols. And I'm gonna need to find some ear plugs."  
Before Zoe could say anything else, Jack thought of another question.  
"What do you mean 'get her gun back'? Do you know where it is?"  
This made Zoe look up at the stars, seemingly thinking about something.  
That, or just enjoying the sky with them.  
"Up in the barn. But I'd watch out if I were you, lots of those molded that way."  
Jack tended, but approved silently.  
"Can we sneak past them or what?"  
Not taking her lips off the dwindling stupid rancid cancer stick, she nodded.  
_Seeing that ugly thing in such a pretty looking face... What was she, an incel? Why the hell did she think that?_  
Internally questioning herself even more now, Jack accepted that and grumbled.  
"Alright. C'mon, gun bun."  
She motioned back at Jen, who stood there, hands still on the bars.  
She wanted to scream.  
Jen never agreed to-  
_This._  
Whatever this was.  
But.  
If Jack thought it would work...  
She could trust Jack, and decided to.  
Following after her as they crept off, Jack gave a glare at the stick in between Zoe's lips as she held her breath to walk past.  
_Jack always had her panties in a wad over stupid stuff like that._  
Jen thought, as she felt their bodies drift together to where they were somehow walking comfortably side on side.  
They always seemed glued together.  
It'd be weird to not see one without the other.  
And this confirmed that.  
Sneaking through long grass, praying to dear lord tits they wouldn't get any ticks, they popped up on the side of the barn, looking at it from and off angle.  
Jack's eyes reflexively looked for spider webs over the the sides of the roof, seeing fat spiders bound up in long thin webs just as she had thought.  
Thanks to this, she noticed the shadow that had been standing there shift before pulling away entirely.  
_Fucking titty sprinkles and milk._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's today's chapter.  
> Yeah.  
> What's that you say? This is the second one today?  
> Well.  
> I started the last on my flight from yesterday.  
> Total difference.  
> Anyway.  
> My eyes are drying out from being awake for so long so I'll be back later to correct things and whatnot.  
> Bye kiddos.


	4. One Northern woman attempts to fight random Louisiana man while her friend dumpster dives.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little more serious, but still, it was fun to write.
> 
> Today on "Lucas please, I'm begging you, don't fucking @ me-" we see Jack and Lucas have a polite discussion while Jen searches a fucking trashcan.

Sucking down a breath, Jack pushed her way through the brush and slid up next to the barn door, moving her sweaty palm against Jen's, trying to find some comfort.  
Letting the door silently push open, they blindly stumbled into the dark.  
The moonlight only reached a little ways in through the door, making everything else pretty much invisible.  
If nothing else had changed though, the stairs should be somewhere around here.  
Sweeping the door shut behind them, Jack took the first shaky step into the pure darkness, listening for the dreaded noise.  
Nothing came, however.  
No gurgle nor groan, no wet slaps, just silence.  
Still on edge, she squeezed Jen's hand tightly, and leaned in, muttering quietly.  
"Stay. Quiet. No matter what."  
Jack then straightened herself out and slunk through the darkness, halfway pulling Jen along with her, until they reached the door.  
For a long time Jack had daydreamed of what she'd do here, from kicking Lucas' ass, to kissing it, but now her heart was thumping so hard she didn't know what she was gonna do.  
Knowing she needed to calm down, she let out a hard sigh and deflated, allowing her body to tremble and ache as it needed to.  
Jen's quiet voice picked up in the wretched dark.  
"Are you ok?"  
Her tone was that of a hard whisper, her eyes clouded and dazed by confusion and concern.  
"I- I don't know."  
Jack's voice shook with the rest of her, and she prayed that if there were a god out there that Lucas wouldn't see this and think her weak.  
"Just- trying to think of a plan. Or. What to do. Cause- we have to go in there."  
Jen pulled herself closer, letting Jack's hot sweaty palm free as she shifted in front of her friend.  
"We don't have to, if you want, I can just go in."  
That thought made her breath hitch in her throat, and Jack's head raised, eyes narrowed as she spoke.  
"No, I'll distract him, you grab what we need, alright? I'm sure it's around here somewhere. And if you can, find the rest of our stuff. Just don't get yourself killed, lemme know if anything goes wrong, and if you hear me having a scrap with him, don't bother. I'll break that fuckin' twig over my knee if I've gotta."  
Before Jen could protest, Jack puffed back out and took her hand, a look of pure anger burning in her eyes.  
 _Those pieces of shit, first they come down for a lovely little fucking vacation, and next thing they know, they're trapped in some cretins fucking basement. The fucking nerve. And here they were having to have this fucking discussion.  
Like wet fingers to a flame, Jack tamed herself and gave Jen a determined look, chest swelling with shouts dying to be released as she quietly, yet swiftly, pushed the door handle down and strode in, pausing momentarily as she took in the surroundings.  
Instead of the normal layout.  
There was a narrow hallway passing through what appeared to be a living room, couch back turned towards where the table ought to be, but instead, a small kitchenette was there.  
And by small, we're talking like it was supposed to be in a camper.  
Down the hall were three doorways, and looking back towards the door they came in from, was another door, this one however, was closed.  
Building herself up, Jack approached the door next to their entry way.  
"Gun. Earplugs."  
Jack mouthed.  
Jen looked as if though she wanted to protest again, wanting to speak up, but Jack gave an aggressive glare, that paired with her puffed up clearly angry status wasn't looking good for Jen, so she just bit back her words and nodded.  
Taking the deepest breath she could, Jack tried to steady her heart as she walked in.  
Which was pretty stupid since she had no idea whether or not Lucas was even in that room.  
But the looming sense of discomfort and paranoia around the door was impossible to ignore.  
Going in, immediately after quietly closing the door behind her, a fabric rustling made every nerve in her body go off.  
Her wide eyes flicked up to see Lucas sitting in an office chair, seemingly comfortable staring at his massive wall of tiny TV's.  
A growl ached to release from her mouth, though instead, she stalked up from behind.  
Only to be barely surprised as his chair swiveled around.  
"Oh hey!"  
His voice called, penetrating the calm silence her ears had adjusted to, making them hurt slightly.  
Her back straightened up a little as she jolted.  
"Didn't know you were coming for a visit! Or... I guess I did."  
He laughed a little at the last part, while she growl.  
"You, motherfucker."  
Her voice snarled, making it obvious just how pissed she was.  
"Now don't-"  
"You shut the hell up and listen to me, bitch boy, where is my shit. I want it back. I had a LIMITED EDITION Halloween Milkyway and I'm not going fucking anywhere until I get it back."  
Eyebrows raised in that stupid doe-like look, Lucas grinned before spinning back around.  
"You mean,"  
He pulled something out.  
 _"This?"  
Her half eaten Milkyway was pinched between his fingers, wrapped shredded as if he hadn't even tried to be delicate with it.  
Jack made an audible gasp, eyes wider than before as she felt even more anger build up inside her.  
"Oh you piece of shit that's fucking it."  
Her voice rushed out.  
"Uh, you can still have it if you want- figured I like the Musketeers more."  
Feeling her heart sink, Jack growled out loud by accident.  
"Oh no you have shit taste-"  
Trying to save the sentence she suddenly resumed just before he could speak again.  
"No wonder you could eat your mums cooking."  
Lucas' mouth stayed open slightly as he was clearly calculating his words.  
"Well ain't you rude, you ain't even had none, how could you know, if you've never even tried it?"  
His voice fluctuated, and just as she was about to answer, he actually stopped her that time.  
Suppose he was serving her a bit of what she gave to him.  
"Aaand, I bet you didn't come here to talk about my ma's cookin', I think you came here, for this."  
He took a second to finish the sentence, reaching back over his desk to grab ahold of her beautiful big blade.  
"Absolutely, so long as you haven't been nasty with it, I want my fucking knife back."  
Lucas shook his head.  
"Not so easy, see, I got somethin' I need done too."__

__Jen was puzzled as to where the gun was.  
She'd stepped in after Jack broke off and went in to confront Lucas, needing to find the supplies in time that her friend wouldn't be obliterated.  
Walking straight ahead, she checked the counter of the kitchenette, and looked at the coffee table.  
There was only a paper plate for an ash tray with a few cigarettes lazily dipped into the center, where they remained.  
She wasn't gonna touch them.  
Wandering down the hall, she opened the first door, only to find a bedroom.  
An old filthy mattress lay on the frame, brown blankets scattered all over and creased severely, she could practically smell Lucas' bald head juice as she searched around.  
 _Strange how after so long he still had a small scent of cologne.  
Finding his stash of clothes, Jen was disgusted upon seeing old crusty red and blue boxers scattered over messy shelves where they were supposed to be stored, most clothes were slumped on the bottom of the closet and she could only think how her mum would be chasing her to hell and back with a Chancla if she'd been caught with a closet like that.  
Shuttering at how disgusting everything was, she tried not to shriek as she shut the closet back up, deciding she'd rather dig through raw sewage with multiple deep wounds on her hand before searching through that festering pile of rotted cloth.  
She looked under the bed, just seeing a bunch of towels, for whatever reason.  
She searched the nightstand, finding nothing but pill bottles, and some small blades and whatnot.  
Nothing of interest.  
Walking out, she went across the hall and into what appeared to be a bathroom.  
It was pitch black and smelled musty.  
 _Sure she always said they were crusty, but she never thought they'd be musty too.  
Searching for a light switch, she eventually found one on the wall a little way in, flipping it resulted in a soft, sickening hum as the lights forced themselves on.  
It suddenly felt ten times hotter in the room, and the greenish-orange light they have off made her head buzz.  
Wanting to be quick, she searched around, looking in the sink, tub, even the fucking toilet which she really didn't want to do, only to find nothing.  
Groaning, her eyes turned over to see a note above a trashcan.  
'Want some help? Take this. :) -L'  
Looking down, the light reflected the fine tip of a syringe sticking out of the can, and may more hiding just beneath.  
Her eyes widened about as much as they could as she slowly processed the sight and realized what she was supposed to do.  
"Fuck that!"  
Jen yelped as she cautiously leaned in.  
Her hand prodded at the can as if it were alive, ready to jump at her until she took a step back and tried pushing it over, except, as she did, it refused to fall, and having expected the trash to easily fall over, she ended up stumbling forward, screaming as she fell.___ _

____"Oh for fucks sake, I'm not running fifty million quests for you people, make up your fucking mind! I can't help you, I'm busy doing something else, can't I just- fight you to the death or something instead?"  
Grumbling as he settled in his chair, Lucas grumbled.  
"No, that wouldn't be much fun at all. C'mon, live a little, all I need is for you to get- that, for me, and I'll give you back your knife here. And if you hurry, maybe you'll get this too."  
He waved the half eaten Milkyway to her before sitting back more to give her a wide grin.  
"You already owe me- you ate half of my LIMITED EDITION, Milkyway, no way in hell am I running a task for you, now give me my knife back you crusty-"  
Jack's heart felt as if though it were swallowed as she heard Jen's scream, pulling herself back and turning to look at the door, Lucas took advantage of this and stood, coming over to firmly grab her by the arm so she wouldn't run off.  
"So, do we have a deal or what?"  
He said with that dumbass grin.  
Jack was confused and nervous, and without much thought, she agreed to it.  
Having your arm held by a strange man capable of snapping your neck coupled with the bizarre look on his face, plus the urge to make sure her friend was alright left Jack absolutely no time to think, and as she said "Fine" he let her go and she went running out, nearly taking the whole damn door off the hinges.  
"Don't forget, y'hear?"  
He called out as she went scrambling down the hallway.  
As she skated into the bathroom, her eyes landed on Jen, nearly tits first in the trash can.  
At first, that made Jack rather confused, until she saw the sharp syringes inside.  
"HELP. ME, YOU WHORE!"  
Jen shrieked, clearly not thinking straight as she was entirely focused on not landing down into the rubbish.  
After standing there ogling at the situation for a moment, Jack stepped up and grabbed ahold of Jen, pulled her back so her shaky footing wouldn't be lost.  
"GODDAMN CRACK HEAD- BROOO WHERE ARE WE, FUCKIN- F- DOWNTOWN NEWYORK? WE TAKE THE WRONG TRAIN? BITCH-"  
Jen was clearly upset, and for obvious reason, though Jack couldn't help but smile at that.  
"Pffft- what were you even doing leaning over a trash can like that?"  
Jen's eyes narrowed as she aggressively pointed towards the note.  
"Oh. Why didn't you just tip-"  
"I TRIED, PUTA!"  
Unable to hold back any longer, Jack laughed a little before clearing her throat to speak again.  
"Alright, then let's find something to scoop those out then. Lucas can clean them, it's his problem."  
Sighing was Jen's way of agreeing as she was helped up to her feet, as Jack wandered over and got a toilet brush from underneath the sink cupboard, using it to halfassedly knock needles out.  
At one point, she became annoyed and sloshed it back and forth, forcing the accursed things out faster, launching them at her legs, to which Jack momentarily stopped and jumped back.  
Resuming, she tried her absolute best to finish it off, uncovering two of their pocket knives, along with another note.  
After trying for five minutes to fish them out, Jack was successful and bent over to read the note, asking Jen to turn the sink on so they could wash the knives.  
'Having fun yet?'  
The note read, to which, Jack scoffed.  
"Always am when I can thwart you like this."  
Her voice was barely audible, and Jen quickly spoke over her soft murmuring.  
"Alright, so what's the plan?"  
Jack turned to her, a grave look plastered on her face.  
"We've got a fucking detour."_ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See what I mean?  
> Jen's gonna be pissed when she finds out, so let's pray to tits all goes to plan.

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this whole thing on a plane.  
> Excuse the poor/fast writing, I just liked the action.  
> Anyway.  
> Next page is coming out eventually.  
> In the meantime, enjoy knowing you just read a story about two grown women armed to the teeth get their asses handed to them on a goddam Halloween pumpkin platter by no one else but the Baker's, one even being one of their crushes.  
> Also.  
> Yeah this was a self insert for me and my friend but hey-


End file.
